Something Changed While I Wasn’t Looking

Something Changed While I Wasn’t Looking

I am divorced and have been so for a while now, about two years, after being with the same person for fifteen years. I hadn’t felt much like dating because I was still in love with my wife, (x-wife). So I get out on the scene only to find “Something changed while I wasn’t looking”. It would seem that being decent, direct, forthright and sincere is something modern women not only disdain but distance themselves from

My first attempt started by dating someone I always thought of as an honest and moral person, but when I got close I found, even though I made my intentions clear, a secretive, a pensive individual and it seemed that my stated intentions meant nothing. On my second try I thought I would use a different approach. After observing and a bit of light flirting the opportunity for an talk, to find out which way the wind blew, presented itself. What a surprise, almost immediately an offer of “friends with benefits” was extended to me. I know it sounds odd but I’m no “player” and said as much, in a nice way. That went less well than the first farce. The third and most recent candidate was another I have known for a while. I was a bit put-off at first contact but discounted it in that availability needed to be established. Upon further observation and interviews, with individuals whom had inside information, reconsideration was made on my part. There had been no talk of dating or contact other than subtle innuendo so I thought nothing of it, wrong again. The cold shoulder was the result of that. No great loss as my instinct and interviews pointed to deception and guile. I’ll have none of that again.

Have things changed this much in the last decade and a half? Am I being too hard or is this the new reality? How can I deal with things if they are so different from what I remember? Why am I so out of touch? Perhaps I have not had enough time, out in the world, to find the person I’m looking for! All this leaves me vexed by what I don’t understand.

I'll keep trying, even if I don't understand. I'm sure I don’t like the “New Dating Scene” I have encountered!